Movie reviews: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988)

By admin · Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Elvira was an instantly recognizable star in the 1980s. After hosting dozens of bad horror movies on television, it was inevitable that she’d appear in a movie herself. Unfortunately, “Elvira: Mistress of the Dark” didn’t find the right story for her Valley Girl/vampire character.

Elvira is seen hosting her movie show – but clashing with the show business personalities around her. Fortunately she’s inherited a spooky old mansion in the conservative New England town of “Falwell,” and the house comes with a mysterious book of spells. (In one scene Elvira conjures up a romantic dinner – which tries to eat her.) Eventually her past comes into focus. (”I’m actually descended from a major metaphysical celebrity,” Elvira realizes.) But all she really wants to do is earn enough money to launch her act in Vegas.

Elvira’s shtick rested on jokes with morbid puns, along with mocking commentary about bad horror movies. Here the producers decide she belongs in a creepy mansion herself, though the plot also has a message. The conservative town objects to Elvira’s low-cut dresses and her feisty personality, but Elvira rallies the local teenagers to support her and her screening of horror movies at the local theatre. The confrontation creates sympathy for her struggle, but also leads to a scene where villagers start to burn Elvira at the stake.

Unfortunately, this movie could’ve been so much more, since Cassandra Peterson has led an incredible life. She worked as a Vegas showgirl, dated Elvis Presley, and even appeared briefly in the James Bond movie “Diamonds are Forever” before she was 20. She appeared in a Fellini movie, posed naked on a Tom Waits album cover, and became the first female spokesman ever for a major brand of beer. (Ironically, Coor’s ended the campaign became they worried Elvira’s character would upset their conservative customers – but then hired her back because she’d been so effective.) Elvira came to this movie after a lifetime of real experiences with America’s popular culture. In the movie she abandons them all for the same old “horror comedy.” Even the house she inherits first appeared in the hokey 60s TV show “The Munsters.”

Elvira wrote part of the script herself. (Her character’s conflict with a female newscaster is said to be based on a real backstage conflict.) She needed funnier jokes, and a better story to showcase her personality. But the studio executives who screened her film were impressed enough to give her the money to fund the filming of the happy movie ending the she’d wanted all along.

Elvira gets her Las Vegas show after all.

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